I have a sub who frequents Amsterdam to indulge his penchant for photography......or maybe it's just a cover to visit Me ;) Amsterdam may be one of the best cities for forced intoxication in the world.
Having been years since he's dabbled in THC products or psychedelics, we stuck to drink in his case and mainly tea and other "herbal remedies" in mine, screening many bars, cafes, and coffeeshops in the touristic center and developing our own drinking game based on the music I've always found overplayed in bars, coffeeshops, etc.
I feel I can share these rules with My readers and they will be relevant to many places, and definitely My Dutch friends and/or those directly involved! Enjoy!
Note: I copied this from elsewhere, but AM actually the original author, so please, don't accuse Me of stealing ideas!
DIRE STRAITS MUSIC-BASED BAR CRAWL GAME
Dire Straits-blandest music ever. Drink your drink and leave without ordering another.
Hotel Fucking California by The Fucking Eagles-chug and run. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Coldplay-Cringe internally and judge bar based on next song
Nickelback-See HOTEL CALIFORNIA
System of a Down-So irrelevant they no longer matter
Macarena-Start singing “DHOOM MACHALE!" very loudly and wish you knew all the words
David Bowie-Stay and order more
NIN-fuck the DJ
Iggy Pop-If it’s on or before Lust for Life, apply Bowie rule
Brian Eno-Get on your knees and pray to him!
Velvet Underground-order more and pretend to be Lou Reed using any object available and any available interpretation of that.
Jerry Lee Lewis-grab a tit, marry me again-SHOT LIST
Elevator music-heel spin and turn, WALK THE FUCK AWAY
RuPaul-Drag out, fagout, lipsync and worship her
James Brown-If heard from outside enter bar. If already there, stay.
Encountering Pikey Clientele- GO…..before you go directly to jail
Meeting Orange Women (fake-bake bitches from the US or UK, both equally pointless)-Let out your inner QUEEN BITCH and let your fagulous nature tear her apart with drunken wit
Buena Vista Social Club-it’s Amsterdam. Of course the cool, toothless old Cubans are singing
Gegen Die Wand (any character)-Don’t piss off Cahit, he will fuck you up
Riders on the Storm-Scream, “Willie Bobo!"
Willie Bobo-Scream “Willie Bobo!"
Bob Marley-Let next song redeem or deter
Manu Chao-Keep me from smoking weed in the bar….if this applies to said bar ;)
CockRock (AC/DC, Iron Maiden, and other CRAP)-See NICKELBACK
Eric Clapton-finish drink and leave unless it’s LAYLA (especially unplugged). Belt that at the top of your lungs. While waiting to leave make out or jerk someone off for amusement.
Led Zeppelin-SEE DAVID BOWIE
Tiziano Ferro-SEE BOWIE RULE and then dance like a decapitated Backstreet Boy
OLD Santana-order another
NEW Santana-slit your wristsRingo-SEE NICKELBACK
Smells Like Teen Spirit-Roll eyes, order more
The Gotan Project-DEFINITELY order more
Frank Sinatra-SEE NICKELBACK
Newer Red Hot Chilli Peppers-SEE DIRE STRAITS
Swedish Pop (any)-Sing along and apply for asylum
Swedish Pop (any)-Sing along and apply for asylum
Alanis Morissette-SEE DIRE STRAITS
Queen-Reconquer Persian empire 1 drink at a time
Donnie Darko Soundtrack (anything)-Sing along and apply Bowie rule
Oasis-Feel someone up and wait for next song
Pearl Jam-See COLDPLAY
Bruce Springsteen-SEE HOTEL CALIFORNIA
Lenny Kravitz-SEE HOTEL CALIFORNIA
REDEEMER BANDS/SONGS: Led Zeppelin, Gnarles Barkley, NIN, Local H (as if), Hole, Tom Waits, Jerry Lee Lewis_______________INSERT YOUR FAVORITES HERE, DON’T LET ME GO ON
DO A SHOT LIST: Tom Waits, Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse, Hole, Bob Dylan, Andre Hazes, Stealers Wheel, The Doors, Johnny Cash, “Venus in Furs"-song only
A leave a bar song can be redeemed only by a redeemer or hot DJ/bartender. Rules are still being updated but for now we have this worked out and Molly Malone’s was a surprisingly good place to start it and end up. When switching bars one must switch to a bar in the same area (more or less).
DRINK UP, HAVE FUN, AND IF YOU PLAY IT RIGHT YOU’LL BE LIKE My companion….comatose and shitty after his flirtation with dodgy shoarma.
I’m a picky snob and always get it wrong anyway :)
REDEEMER BANDS/SONGS: Led Zeppelin, Gnarles Barkley, NIN, Local H (as if), Hole, Tom Waits, Jerry Lee Lewis_______________INSERT YOUR FAVORITES HERE, DON’T LET ME GO ON
DO A SHOT LIST: Tom Waits, Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse, Hole, Bob Dylan, Andre Hazes, Stealers Wheel, The Doors, Johnny Cash, “Venus in Furs"-song only
A leave a bar song can be redeemed only by a redeemer or hot DJ/bartender. Rules are still being updated but for now we have this worked out and Molly Malone’s was a surprisingly good place to start it and end up. When switching bars one must switch to a bar in the same area (more or less).
DRINK UP, HAVE FUN, AND IF YOU PLAY IT RIGHT YOU’LL BE LIKE My companion….comatose and shitty after his flirtation with dodgy shoarma.
I’m a picky snob and always get it wrong anyway :)
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